HELPING KIDS MAKE EYE CONTACT & CONNECT BETTER

Encourage-Eye-Contact Mind Hopes

Eye contact is a fundamental part of communication. It helps children engage with others, understand emotions, and build strong social connections. However, some kids, particularly those with developmental delays or sensory sensitivities, may struggle with making or maintaining eye contact. While this can be concerning for parents and caregivers, it’s important to understand that with the right strategies, patience, and consistency, children can gradually develop this skill in a way that feels natural and stress-free.

Why Do Some Kids Avoid Eye Contact?

child-autism-avoiding-eye Mind Hopes

There are many reasons why a child may struggle with eye contact. It’s not always due to a lack of interest or engagement. Some children may find it overwhelming, while others may not understand its importance in communication.

Sensory Overload

Eye contact can feel intense for children who are sensitive to visual stimuli. Looking directly into someone’s eyes may be overstimulating, making them feel anxious or uncomfortable.

Difficulty Multitasking

Some kids find it hard to focus on both listening and looking at the same time. They may prefer to concentrate on one sense at a time, which can result in avoiding eye contact.

Social Anxiety

Making eye contact requires a level of social engagement that some children find intimidating. It may feel too personal or overwhelming.

Lack of Awareness

Some children, particularly those with autism or developmental delays, may not realize that eye contact is an important part of social communication. They might not naturally look at others while speaking or listening.

Preference for Other Stimuli

Instead of looking at someone’s face, a child may be more interested in observing objects, lights, or movements around them. Avoiding eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean that a child isn’t listening or engaged. They may simply need extra time and encouragement to feel comfortable with it.

How to Gently Encourage Eye Contact

Since every child is different, it’s important to approach this with patience and creativity. Here are some effective ways to encourage eye contact naturally:

Make It Fun!

Forcing a child to “look at me” can create stress and resistance. Instead, turn it into a game. Play activities like:

  • Peek-a-boo – This helps younger children associate eye contact with fun.
  • Rolling a ball back and forth – Say their name before rolling the ball to encourage brief eye contact.
  • Making silly faces – Kids love copying expressions, which naturally leads to looking at faces.

Be at their Eye Level

Instead of expecting a child to look up, lower yourself to their level. Sit or kneel so they feel more comfortable engaging with you. Holding something interesting near your face, like a favorite toy, can also encourage them to look up.

Engage Through Play & Interactive Activities

  • Action songs – Songs with hand movements, like “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” encourage looking at faces.
  • Mirror games – Making funny faces together in the mirror helps kids observe facial expressions naturally.
  • Puppet play – Using puppets or stuffed animals to “talk” can make eye contact feel less intimidating.

Reduce Distractions

If a child is in a noisy or visually stimulating environment, they may struggle with eye contact. A quiet, comfortable space helps them focus better on interactions without feeling overwhelmed.

Use Gentle Prompts

Instead of saying, “Look into my eyes,” try softer prompts like:

  • “Can you see my nose?”
  • “What color are my eyes?”
  • “Let’s play a staring contest!”
    These small prompts encourage looking at faces without making eye contact feel like a demand.

Allow Alternative Forms of Engagement

Some kids feel more comfortable looking at a person’s forehead, nose, or mouth instead of directly into their eyes. That’s okay! The goal is to help them feel comfortable with social engagement, even if they don’t always maintain perfect eye contact.

Incorporate Eye Contact Into Daily Routines

Mealtime, dressing up, or reading books together are great moments to encourage eye contact in a relaxed setting. Even small moments of shared attention can make a difference.

When to Seek Extra Support

If a child consistently avoids eye contact and struggles with social interactions, it may be beneficial to seek guidance from an occupational therapist.
Therapy can:

  • Address sensory sensitivities that may be affecting eye contact.
  • Help develop alternative ways to engage socially.
  • Provide structured strategies to build confidence in communication.


An occupational therapist will assess the child’s unique needs and create a personalized plan to help them feel more comfortable with social interactions.

FINAL THOUGHT

Eye contact is an important skill, but every child develops at their own pace. Some kids need more time and gentle encouragement, while others may quickly adapt to new strategies. The key is to create a positive, pressure-free environment where they feel safe and supported.
Instead of forcing eye contact, focus on meaningful engagement. Celebrate small victories, and remember that progress comes in many forms. Whether it’s a quick glance, a shared smile, or a brief moment of connection, every step forward is a success.
With patience, engaging activities, and a supportive approach, children can learn to connect in a way that feels natural for them. Over time, as their confidence grows, so will their ability to engage with the world around them.